Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Zeal for your house consumes me

During lunch at Chipotle today, I read John chapter 2 where Jesus turns over tables and clears out the temple. I read it quick and felt like I didn't get anything out of it. It bothered me that I only spent a couple minutes in the Bible, when I could have spent more. I felt like it was wasted, but then I dwelt upon the verse I did read a little more.

"Zeal for your house consumes me."

This scripture passage used by John from Psalm 69:9 kept running through my head. It made me think about what consumes me. I was a little saddened because I am not nearly as zealous for God as Jesus demonstrated in the temple. I seem to always revert back to a comfortable place where I have my job, my house, my girlfriend, my family, and my friends and I feel safe. Then I enter a dangerous place where these things are enough for me, where I do not want more from myself or for my life. I have my routine and I stick to it.

It seems as though Jesus didn't have this luxuary. I get the impression that Jesus held everything very loosely except His Father's will. Even His relationship with His mother is held loosely. When told about His mothers' arrival, Jesus said that those who do His Father's will are his brother, sister, and mother. This is a rather peculiar way to welcome one's mother. I imagine it is similar to when Jesus tells us to hate our parents for the sake of the gospel. We are not to hate our parents because that is one of the commandments, but rather it is a comparison. I don't think Jesus disrespects his mother, but compared to His Father's will his relationship with his mother means nothing.

I don't hold things loosely. I like to cling to them and find comfort in them. I should be doing that with God alone. It is good to have nice things and things of comfort, but like George Macdonald said, "It is good to have shoes, it is better to walk without them."

If I am perfectly honest, I don't feel as though I am being materialistic or unhealthy in my relationships with people. These things are as they should be in my opinion. Rather, my relationship with God is not as strong as it should be. God is not always on the pedastal. I like to take Him down and put other things up. I don't think I need to lessen the other things in my life, rather I need to increase the God in my life.

I may be walking a fine line of words here however. We are to take up our cross and follow Him daily. This means killing and hating the things that deter us from that goal. We are to kill our old self and things that hold us back from the Father's will. Like when Abraham began to covet his only son, who was a promise from God. God told Abraham to kill that son whom He had given to him with a promise. The goal was to loosen the grip Abraham had on this child. Abraham placed Isaac above God on his pedastal.

Maybe I do need to loosen the grip I have on the things in my life. Maybe only through this loosening can I hold on to Him tighter. Maybe once I let go of the other things and grap on tighter to God, the other relationships I have will become that much stronger. It is strange the way things work sometimes. I guess at the bottom of all of this is the desire to have the same zeal that Jesus did for His Father's will. I want to be able to lose everything and still praise God and live a joyful life. Joyful being the key word. If I lost everything I had right now, I would probably go into a depression or at least a resentful hatred of those around me. I need to be at the point in my relationship with God, that if everything is gone I have lost nothing. I have a lot of killing to do before I can get to that point, figuratively of coarse :)

What a blessed place that would be. I would not be controlled by the man, or by the powers of this dark world. I would not be phased by trials or hardships. I would not be motivated by money or power. I would live a life in harmony with those around me not caring what they cared or thought about me. It would all be out of love. I would not fear the unknown, but walk humbly with my God. I would not try so hard, but I would rely on the power of God. Oh, what a beautiful place this will be. Would God give me the strength and wisdom to get there.

One Love,
Danger

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Clay in the hands of the Potter

I am currently in a Bible study with some close friends of mine and we are studying Daniel. This Bible study is really fun because I am studying the Bible with some great people and we are studying a book from the old testament. I have had many Bible studies devoting time to a letter of Paul, but I have never had a Bible study devoted to a book in the old testament. I have studied it myself and have read the whole Bible before, but never studied the OT in a group setting. The closest I came was the Covenant study I was involved in senior year of college. We are having a blast as we do it, and I feel challenged from these guys to live a life for the Lord.

Although, I am noticing that my mind is not as sharp as it used to be when dealing with the deep theological issues and understanding of the Bible. I think this is interesting but understood because I don't read as much anymore ever since I bought my house. This reminds me of what Paul says in his first letter to the Corinthians,

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified." (1 Corinthians 9:24-27)

Now I think that Paul here is referring to his actions and keeping his sinful nature in control, but the truth can be applied much broader. If we don't exercise, our muscles will not be in shape when we need to use them. If we don't practice self-control, we will not have self-control. If I do not study and read, my understanding of such things will become dull and useless. I have always been able to experience God through the intellect and contemplation of the deep things of God and life. Recently however, I have not done such and my "muscles" are becoming noticably dull. Now I am not saying they are gone; I don't doubt I could be sharp as a cucumber after reading a few George MacDonald books. I actually did start reading a George MacDonald book to battle my laziness in the intellectual realm. The truth he speaks always cuts straight to the heart of things and challenges me to do the same. This is where truth is found, when one cuts to the heart of things and does not settle with what one understands. God always lies deeper than our deepest understanding of things. There is always something more behind every corner and wall of what we know. This is why it is crucial for me to stay sharp and to always be seeking.

I am still seeking God and truth in my intellectual null, just in a different way. I am seeking God through the means of responsibility and becoming a man. This method is much more difficult to experience and see God, but I must take this road. I have a feeling I will see the meaning of it when the proper time comes, but for now I do not see it clearly and I will follow Him through it. I realized that I am already taking steps to provide for the family that I do not have yet. That is why I bought my house. That is why I bought a fixer upper house (because it is an investment). That is why I concern myself with finances. I want to be able to provide for my future family, and it doesn't hurt to start now. Ha, I think I can see now why I am being led down this road of responsibility and becoming a man. God is preparing me for perhaps a family someday. Duh! Well, that day came much quicker than I thought and I will probably be able to experience God better through the mundane activities of my day. It is for my future family! Ha ha, thanks God :)

I am glad I realized this just now because I was going to say that I have not been seeking God as intensely lately as I have done in the past, but now that I know why I am where I am I will be able to see God in the things I do daily, such as paying bills, and working on my house. Ahh, what a sense of freedom and release. Every nail I hammer is for God and for my future family. I don't want to get too far ahead of myself because I am not sure when these things will come to pass. It may be longer and it may be sooner. That is to be found out as I walk along this road, but I will trust God as I walk it because He is good and he will work all things for the good.

I think now I will be able to challenge Ben about Daniel 10, where I believe it is the angel Gabriel who is stalled from accomplishing his purpose because of the prince of the kingdom of persia. This, a messenger of God, is not allowed to fulfill his purpose because of an evil presence. Interesting how the will can be thwarted. Another topic indeed that I do not have the internet space to address. Ben and I usually are saying similar things as approached from different sides of the fence. We agree on much more than we think, but because we say it differently, the truth is hidden from us. We debate with an honest truth seeking mentallity, which is why it is done in a healthy manner. I never feel bad after speaking with Ben, only encouraged and challenged. I only feel bad when he doesn't see the truth :)

One Love,
Danger

Monday, November 30, 2009

Say "Uncle"

Over this thanksgiving weekend I received wonderful news to give thanks for. My sister is going to have a baby!! I am so thrilled for her and Danny. They are going to make great parents, and hopefully I can be a great uncle. (Great as in fantastic, not great as in old :) )

In hearing this news, I realize that I will be going back to Central Minnesota more often to visit my new niece or nephew. This means more hunting for me, which is why I want to buy a bow and arrow. The season lasts from mid-September to late-December. This equates to many weekends of hunting and playing with the new baby in the family. I am really excited!

I have never even shot a bow and arrow before, but I have always wanted to start the sport. There are many things to consider when buying a compound bow and arrow. I spent some time researching about what to look for today and found some valueable insights. Specifically this website: http://www.huntersfriend.com/bowselection.htm

The important thing is to find a bow that fits my body. Everyone is different and one of the most important things to be successful is to have a bow that I am comfortable shooting. This will give me better form, which turns into better shooting. From this I am to choose the draw length and draw weight. That is how far back the string is pulled and how much weight it takes to pull the string back. Draw length can be estimated based on height, but it comes down to what is most comfy for me. A rule of thumb is my wingspan divided by 2.5, which is about 30" for me. The longer the draw length, the more power the bow will have because more of my energy will be converted to potential energy as I draw the bow. The draw weight is a major component in the power of the bow as well. Obviously the higher the weight, the more power. I will probably find a bow in the 50-60lb class. This should produce plenty of power to take down a whitetail with today's bow and arrows.

Another important thing to consider is brace height. This is the length from the arrow shelf to where the string is in the resting position. A larger brace height allows for a more forgiving bow. The reason for this is because with a smaller brace height, the distance required for me to draw the bow is greater. When I let go of the string, my body might flinch or twitch or move somehow. With a larger brace height, the string has less distance to travel back to rest which means it gets there quicker, which means there is less time for me to make a mistake. Average brace heights are around 7". I will probably look for a bow with a brace height more than 7.5".

Other less important factors when looking for a bow are split limb vs. solid limb. I am indifferent as to these 2. I will choose the cheaper of the 2. Cam aggression is also a thing to consider. An aggressive cam provides more power, but is more difficult to control. The cams affect the smoothness of the draw back and the tolerance between holding the string back and firing the bow. An aggressive cam will reach higher power faster, but this means that the hunter can not let the string forward when holding a draw back because it will want to fire quicker. I will go with a moderate cam. Then there is letoff %. This is the % of the draw weight that is let off when at full draw. For instance, if I have a 50lb draw weight and 80% letoff, it will feel like 10lbs when holding the string at full draw. This is nice because it gives more time to aim because it is not as difficult to hold back the string. The axle height is the distance from axle to axle, basically how tall the bow is. This affects how forgiving the bow is as well. The taller bow will have more forgiveness. I will look for a bow with a little more axle height probably around 34".

The last thing I will talk about is the recoil. This was really interesting to me. Even a bow and arrow will have recoil, the same way a shotgun has recoil. It is simply physics. Most of the energy released will go to the arrow which gives the arrow motion forward. However, some of the energy is absorbed by the bow, giving it recoil. This energy is exerted on the limbs of the bow. The old type of bow has vertical limbs, which when fired the stored energy will cause the bow to want to go the same direction as the arrow. The way bow and arrow manufacters solved this problem is by making the limbs horizontal so when the bow is fired the limbs go up and down which means the top limb is going up and bottom limb is going down and the 2 forces cancel each other out leaving less recoil. This is genius and I will be sure to look out for it when I am purchasing my first bow and arrow.

There is so much more to learn about the right bow and arrow for me. I haven't even mentioned arrow size and broadhead. However, I am going to start shopping so that I can get out in the woods earlier next year and spend more time hunting that trophy buck.

I went on so long about this because I wanted to make sure I knew what I was talking about before I actually went out to look for a bow and arrow. I wanted to make sure I learned what I read earlier today. You know that you learned something if you can rephrase it in your own words and it still makes sense.

One Love,
Danger

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Bird's and the Butterfly's


Click on the picture to see it better.

Each week Laura and I try to study the Bible together. We are going through Ephesians right now and recently we studied the end of chapter 4 and the beginning of chapter 5 titled "Children of Light" in our NIV bibles. The image above is a diagram we drew to encapsulate the idea Paul is trying to get across in this section of Ephesians. Laura is in Physics right now, so using a hill where Potential energy and Kinetic energy are described further helped us understand this passage through the diagram. Not only was it fun to draw, but it helped us to better understand the process of sanctification and the importance of a holy lifestyle. (I actually drew this on one of the blank pages in the back of my bible. Kinda funny everytime I look at it.)


This would make more sense if you read Ephesians 4:17-5:21. This section talks about the transformation we are supposed to experience as children of light by putting off our old self and putting on our new self. This is a transformation of the mind and heart which causes our deeds to transform from bad to good.

In the diagram, there is a snowball at the top of the hill. This snowball is you. On top of the hill the potential energy is the greatest. We can head towards the right side of the hill, evil or our old self, or we can head towards the left side of the hill, good or our new self. It is important to notice that on top of the hill, the snowball is not moving. The kinetic energy on top of a hill = zero. It is lukewarm, like in Revelation 3:15-16. This is not good because Jesus will spit you out. So the snowball has the ability to roll left or right.

If we roll down the left side, we are stuck in our old self lifestyle. Where we are doing bad things, like stealing or cheating. Our hearts are hardened and we are seperated from God because of this. If we roll down the left side we are ignorant and insensitive to the things of God, and we are impure in our actions. As we roll down the left side, we continually lust for more and remove ourselves farther from God and godly things.

If we roll down the right side, we are becoming more like God. We are "being imitators of Him" (Ephesians 5:1), and the attitudes of our mind are to be made new. We will be more other people centered instead of self centered. We will naturally be more humble, and we will actively be exposing evil to the light of Christ. This was an important thing we hit on. Not only are we to be exposing evil to light, but we are to be active in searching this out. We need to be actively seeking evil so that we can destroy it. Sure we can sit back and wait to be convicted of evil before we destroy it, OR we can seek out the darkness in the corners of our hearts and destroy it when WE find it. Not when it finds us. There are many areas in our lives that need the light of Christ to shine on. Many that we don't even know about, which is why it is important for us to seek these areas so that they do not catch us off guard.

Another important thing we noticed is that it is easier to roll down than it is to climb up. I think this is true both ways. It is easier to continue in our old way of life and head towards our old self. I also believe that it is easier to continue being imitators of God if that is something we practice. The more good I do, the easier it will be next time. As well as, the more evil I do, the easier it will be next time.

The snowball rolls and picks up speed as it heads down the hill. This means that the farther down the hill we roll, the harder it is to go back, not impossible, but harder. It requires more work. Near the top of the hill, the snowball can easily go left or right. The snowball does not have as much kinetic energy, or movement, to slow it down to head the other way. This would represent the wayward soul. The new believer who has a hard time changing from his old ways of evil and wants to go back. But as this snowball makes his way down the right side of the hill, it becomes more and more difficult to turn back towards evil. I think that the more we know God, the less we will want to sin. Thus making it more difficult to sin because our will is fighting against the will to sin. I am not saying that it is more difficult for the more mature Christian to sin because it is always easy to sin, I am rather referring to a lifestyle of sin.

The same is true on the other side. The more we sin, the easier it is to sin and the more difficult it is to get out of that sin. The hill is in the way to easily cross to the other side. Crossing sides requires work. Actively seeking God and being aware of our choices and who we are as we transform into the likeness of Christ is necessary to put on the new self. Paul lists a lot of actions and attitudes that are to be put off, which goes along with putting on the new self. We can't just one day say we are new and be new. No, it needs to be followed with actions and a changing attitude for the statement to be true. This is our sanctification, being transformed from who we were to the image of Christ. This is done by actively seeking God and destroying the darkness that is in us. If we do not destroy the darkness that is in us, we will hold that darkness. There is no darkness in God. Therefore, if we hold onto our darkness, we cannot be like Christ and therefore we are not fully sanctified. There will be no darkness in heaven. Somehow, the darkness will be driven out of us. I would say it is easier to take care of it now rather than later. One way or another God will destroy the darkness in us (Hebrews 12:14-27). I would rather give it up, than have it ripped from me. The later hurts much worse.

What Laura and I learned was that we need to always be moving. It is not good to just sit on top of the hill because we need to be headed towards the bottom of the right side of the hill. We don't get there just by sitting. We also learned that it is easy to change our direction when it is still early. The farther we get in either direction, the easier it is to continue heading there. Which is why it is so important to continue heading in the right direction. We learned that being an imitator of God means being others focused, humble, caring, and actively destroying evil. We also learned that Laura and I draw wings differently. She draws them like a butterfly's and I draw them like a bird's :)

One Love,
Danger


Friday, November 13, 2009

Vaction is a detail oriented affair, I should come up with a vision statement.

I did not get a deer this last weekend :( Therefore, I am headed back into the woods this weekend. Hopefully, I will get a shot at the tirdy pointer. Perhaps only in my dreams...

Before I left to go deer hunting last weekend, I spent $300 and a couple hours to blow insulation in my attic. Before I did this, my attic looked cold and gloomy. Now it looks like a winter wonderland of snow. I feel warmer just looking up there. With the government 30% rebate, I really only paid $200. That should be paid off by the money I will save on my heating bill in a few years, maybe less.

I got really excited yesterday because I was looking at fireplaces and different design plans for them. I went to the Fireside and Hearth website. They allow you to custom design a fireplace and they show you what it will look like. I am going to get a gas fireplace. I want to go with a natural stone mantel and hearth. It looks gorgeous. The estimate was $3500. I can maybe make cuts here and there to get it under $3000. I plan on going shopping for them next week :)

Ceiling fans are 25% off at Menards this week. I should stop in and pick 2 up for my family room today. Could save me $50.

The question I have for the day is how I should spend the last 5 vacation days I have at work. I could take 3 days before Christmas off and 2 days before New years. This would give me 12 of 14 days that I do not have to work, including weekends OR I could take 1 day before Christmas and 4 days before New Years off which would give me 12 straight days off. I am faced with difficult decisions as an adult. I am leaning towards the 1 / 4 which gives me 12 straight days off, but we will see what Laura's schedule and the Christmas plan looks like :)

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Deer Hunting

This weekend I will take to the field with the nearly 500,000 other deer hunters to enjoy the peace and serenity of the sport/art of deer hunting. The weather is supposed to be warm and sunny. I am a little skeptical of my success because of how warm it is supposed to be. The deer have their winter coats on and they don't like to move as much when it is too warm. Hopefully, I can attract them with doe urine and my "True Talker" buck grunt. All things aside, I am very excited and took Monday and Tuesday off of work so that I can hunt longer.

I like to sit in a tree and wait for the deer to come to me. I get to enjoy nature more because there is a lot of down time while the deer prepare to show theirself to me. Not only that, but the shots are usually a lot more accurate because the deer are not running. This means less wounded animals. I was disturbed by a comment made by a man behind me in Fleet Farm. I was buying ammo for this weekend and the cashier lady wished me good luck on getting the big one this weekend. I smiled at her and thanked her for her wishes. Meanwhile, the jerk behind me says in a snarky tone, "Big one! We shoot everything." I looked at him with a disgusted face and neglected to say anything as I left the store.

Thinking about it a little more, I should have snapped back at this guy. "You know it is jerks like you that gives hunters a bad name!" "Is your only purpose to kill and destroy?" That is not what deer hunting is for me. I am not in the woods to murder and destroy everything. This guy made is sound like he brings chaos into the woods and leaves when he is satisfied. I respect the woods and the deer that I hunt. I thank God every time I shoot a deer and thank Him for giving the life of that animal to me. I thank God for giving the other deer another day of life, and for caring for them. This guy was missing the big picture. I hope that the people he hunts with and, God forbid, his kids don't have the same attitude as him.

Hunters, please respect the woods and the animals in them. It is God's creation and it is our duty to care for it as God does. Let us not go in to destroy. It is irresponsible and inappropriate. May God bless and keep those safe who will be hunting this weekend.

One Love,
Danger

Friday, October 30, 2009

A preThanksgiving thanksgiving.

I was on the Christus Victor website reading some of Greg Boyd's essays. One in particular about baptism. I am not going to give an in depth study about baptism...today :) Reading this essay reminded me of my walk with Christ and when I devoted my life to Him.

On December 17, 2003 I dedicated my life to Jesus Christ. I said yes to His invitation of love and forgiveness. I said yes to the Holy Spirit and let Him in my life to purify me and teach me. I said yes to being a disciple of Jesus Christ.

It was a long journey that led me there and led me here, but I took a little time to reflect on where I have been and where I am heading. I just wanted to give a thanks to everyone who affected this walk.

First off, I need to thank my parents for teaching me Christian morals and Christian ethics. For showing me love and grace. Teaching me obedience and teaching me how to see things as they really are. Their influence in my life can not be calculated or fathomed. They helped lay the foundation of where my faith is today. I cannot thank them enough.

I want to thank the 5 Parish Catholic church. The first 18 years of my life were strongly influenced by the teachings and beliefs of this church. Even though I didn't recognize it, I was being formed and shaped by this group of people. They also taught me devotion, obedience, hope, faith, love, forgiveness, and much more that cannot be written here for the list is far too long. It is through the Catholic church that I heard the gospel for the first time at the Steubenville North Conference. I heard Revelation 3:20 and did not forget it even to this day.

I want to thank the Covenant Church in Upsala for offering the youth group that changed my life forever. Through their ministry I was brought to my knees before the Lord to surrender to Him. They continued to feed the good work that was happening inside of me.

I want to thank Toni Ripplinger for being persistent with me. I learned so much through her. She invited me to the youth group that changed my life and continued to be a part of my life after which inspired so much growth in Christ.

I thank Rocky for making Christianity fun and exciting, while also challenging and thought provoking. The Lord used his life to grow mine.

I thank Wanda Erickson for giving me my first bible. It was a NIV study bible. That helped me really draw near to God.

I thank Eric Roering for being alongside me the whole time while I was developing and changing. Together we devoted ourselves to Jesus and together we grew. It was this companionship that helped me relate with someone to feel more comfortable during our growth. Because he was going to youth group, I finally decided to go to.

One last shout out is Campus Crusade for Christ. There are numerous people in this movement who played huge roles in my life and who still play major roles in my life that I have neither the time nor the space to name here. This ministry took my devotion to Christ and multiplied it ten fold and more.

There are probably many people I am forgetting, but because I included ministries I hit a lot of them :) There are many many things on my journey that influenced me which led me to where I am now. The greatest influence is God Himself. Without Him, I would never have found Him. He is the driving force in my life. He is the one I surrendered to. And He is the only I follow today and try and imitate. He met me where I was in my sin and unrighteousness and he forgave me and told me that He loves me. That changed everything and I could not stand here today without the strength He provides.

Thank you!

One Love,
Danger

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Fatherly advice

I made a mistake in the last post. My calculations missed a couple very important factors. I forgot to subtract the interest paid and the principle paid. Oops! Hehe, well the real numbers come out to around $40,000 profit, which is still pretty good. $13,333 per year. Comes out to around 23% on investment. Regardless of my erroneous calculations, the investment beats most investments.

The reason I have been curious about numbers is because a friend of mine offered me a whole life insurance program. I have always assumed that life insurance is insurance for a loved one if I die. Hence, I am not married so I do not need life insurance. It pays off your debt so your loved one does not have to worry about how to pay a mortgage or pay for the kids' education or whatever. This is true, but not the whole picture.

There are 2 popular types of life insurance, term and whole. I described term above. It's only purpose is to protect your loved ones in the case of your death. Whole life insurance has an interesting twist to it. It covers your family in the case of your death, but it also has a part of it that acts as a savings account. Every monthly payment you make has a portion that goes into this account. You are then given a certain interest rate on this money which helps it grow. The numbers I saw were 6.15% now and the last ten years it was about 8% interest. This is a pretty good rate. The way most investments work is that you pay a lot now to receive a lot more later. This kind of account does not break even until about year 15-20. Keep in mind it is a "retirement account" yet you are free to access this money at any time you desire. It does not make sense to touch it for a long time because of the ROI, return on investment, and you are charged when you take this money out by the company you invest with. The kicker is, when you take this money out, there are no taxes on it! It is tax free. That is different than your 401k which is taxed upon withdrawl. When you are older and in a higher tax bracket, you do not want to pay the way higher taxes on your retirement funds.

It works similar to a Roth IRA. The problem is, there is a $5000 limit on a Roth IRA. And when you make too much, you are not allowed to take out an IRA. That is when this program comes in handy. When you are making a lot of money, and are limited on where to put retirement funds that are not taxed like crazy. The difficult part is making the high payments for this life insurance. For it to make the most return, you need to have a very expensive plan. I am talking over $250 per month. Term life insurance can be about $20 or so per month. Significantly different, but remember that term life insurance is just insurance, there are no additional accounts with it.

Going with whole life insurance is not a bad thing. Overall it is a respectable investment. I would promot it for someone it makes sense for. It is not for everyone however. The way I see it is , if I plan on being paid over $100,000 someday, with inflation this is not as big as it seems, and want a lot of money in retirement, then this is a good idea. The reason my salary matters is that it affects if I can put money in an IRA and it bumps up my tax bracket for when I withdrawl my other retirement funds. If I will be in a higher tax bracket, this will help me save because I am not taxed on the withdrawl of this money. I am taxed before I put it in. Having a lot of money in retirement I will address further down. There are a few difficulties I have with it. I don't like insurance. I will avoid insurance at all costs. If I had the choice, I would not buy car insurance. It seems to be more of a headache than it is worth. Could I invest in something else and come out ahead?

When you google whole life insurace, you will quickly become aware of the debate between whole life insurance and term life insurance. The argument for term life insurance is you can make out better by investing in mutual funds. You will not have the large monthly payments that you are tied down to with whole life insurance. Now mutual funds are taxed at every point possible. Before, during, and after. However, the dividend can be higher than whole life insurance. If you subtract taxes, they come out very close to one another.

A few questions I need to ask are, how much it costs to take money out of the account and what the stipulations are on that? How much is the insurance aspect actually costing me? What happens if I drop the coverage? If I lose my job, one of the first things to go will be life insurance.

The last difficulty is the monthly payment. I talked to my dad about this topic for a while last night. He made some very good points.

1. If I max out my Roth IRA and 401k each year, I will have plenty to live off of in retirement based on my lifestyle. I don't live in luxury and don't expect to ever. I want to have nicer things and recreational things, but I can't justify expensive jewlery a luxury car, huge house and all that jazz. Not in my desires. My liquid assets, IRA's, and 401k should sustain me in retirement.

2. I will not need life insurance my whole life. It is good to have life insurance when you have debt or liabilities. For instance, a mortgage, credit card debt, car payments, and especially kids. If you have kids, you need life insurance for your loved ones. Just in case. However, there is no reason to leave your family with more money than you have ever lived with. It can get to people's head and they can lose their work ethic. I want my kids to earn what they receive, not free load off of my success. They will be much stronger people in such a case.

3. "Enjoy your money now." My dad said the mistake he made was that he was so tight when he was young that he didn't enjoy what he had. Granted he is financially successful now, but that could have been achieved had he loosened the reins a little and enjoyed life too. (This being in the context that my dad knows that I am very conservative and do not find it hard to save and sacrifice some things in order to save) This for me is a big point. I don't know if I want to be tied down to a large monthly payment so I can be wealthy in retirement. There are other ways to save for retirement that aren't as large of a committment and can receive similar payouts. Whole life insurance may be the best move financially, but in my case I would pay more for freedom than I would to avoid paying more in taxes later on in my life.

I will repeat. Purchasing whole life insurance is not a bad move financially. Actually, it can be a good move financially if you get started young enough. At 23 it is still worth it for me to get it. If I were 40, there is no way I would even consider this. But in my case, I think I can make other financial decisions that will allow me freedom in retirement and allow me freedom at 23. When I have a family with kids, I will buy term life insurance. Until then, I will make investments in mutual funds, real estate, IRA's, 401k, and other possible investments that come my way. Retirement should be on my mind, but it shouldn't dictate all of my financial decisions. I think I need freedom to buy things for my pleasure, such as a boat, cabin, etc. and allow me freedom to be more generous with my money to tithe for certain ministries. If I buy whole life insurance, I will be tied down when right now I need freedom.

Hope this helped someone. I don't mean to promot one way or the other. I hope I didn't paint a bad picutre of whole life insurance because it is a good thing. I decided that it is not for me. Perhaps it fits better in your situation. You need to research it for yourself.

One Love,
Danger

My house...on the corner of the street...my house

Since I now have a blog, I think it is good to update people about what I am doing in my life instead of just talk about theology (which I really enjoy doing). As some of you know, I bought a house this summer. It was a foreclosure at a really good price. There is a ton of potential in this house, except I need to bring this potential out into the buyers market :) I am saying this is a fixer upper house to the extreme. Just to give you an idea about what kind of house this is, I will give you a list of some things I want to do:

1. New Roof
2. Paint soffits and fascia
3. finish siding
4. knock out a load bearing wall to connect the kitchen to the huge family room new addition
5. redo entire kitchen
6. finish new addition
a. instal gas fireplace
b. redo electrical
c. redo HVAC
d. insulate attic and other small holes
e. drywal / paint
f. hardwood / carpet floors
7. blow insulation in attic
8. finish bathroom in basement
9. master bedroom in basement
a. build walk in closet
b. move existing furnace
c. electrical
d. carpet
e. paint
10. refinish old hardwood floors in BR's and LR
11. paint outside
12. build deck
13. patio
14. LANDSCAPING
15. Redo old basement
16. laundry room remodel
17. cut down tree / replant maple or birch
18. new driveway
19. CRY!
20. decorate
21. rest

This list is a general list and does not go into detail about the specifics of each part I want to do.

So far I have remodeled my bathroom, painted the BR's and LR, replaced the front door, nearly finished siding, trimmed a lot of trees, torn down old ugly chimney, repaired roof, fixed soffits.

In the near future:
I just bought a window for my living room. I plan on blowing insulation in the attic of the old part of the house before it gets too cold. When I put the window in, I can finish siding the front of the house. Then I am off to finish the electrical in the new addition. This requires me updating the box to circuit breakers. Right now I have 100amp fuses. I plan to update it to either 100 or 200 amp circuit breakers. Then I can put a fireplace in the new part.

This is what I do with my "free time." It is a big investment though. I bought the house for $137,000 and plan to put $40,000 - $50,000 into it. If things go right, I could sell the house for $260,000 when I am done. Fingers crossed. It will be at least 3 years because I am receiving $8,000 from your tax dollars so that I can buy a house for the first time. This program requires you to live in your house for at least 3 years or you need to pay it back. Therefore, I bought my house for $129,000!

Not to get too into the numbers, but lets say I sell my house in 5 years. Lets say the market recovers to a "non-recession" level. The tax value when I bought the house was $242,000 as the market was collapsing. If the market grows 10%, the value of the house is $266,000. When I sell it, the realtor gets 6% of sale price, $15,960. That leaves me with $250,040. Say I put $50,000 into the remodel. I am down to $200,040. In 5 years I will have about $95,000 left on my mortgage, that brings me to $105,040 profit! However, I will be taxed on $266,000-$137,000=$129,000 income. Say I spend 3 years remodeling, that is $35,000 per year as a "part time job." That is pretty good! Counting for miscalculations say I make $30,000 per year. That is still pretty darn good if you ask me! The best part is I enjoy doing it. That is what really matters. Money is x amount of dollars. Enjoying what I do. Priceless.

One Love,
Danger

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

To be, or not to be?

"And I tell you, everyone who acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man also will acknowledge before the angels of God, but the one who denies me before men will be denied before the angels of God." -Luke 12:8-9

This is a very scary verse to me. I think about the times where I have had opportunities to acknowledge God before men and I was afraid. I diverted the conversation or I played off the opportunity. Granted, there have been conversations with co-workers and clients where I seized the opportunity and was proud to proclaim Christ as my Lord and Savior. I have heard it said that it takes one lie to make you a liar. Jesus was disappointed with Peter after one denial, even though he went on to deny Christ 3 times.

I am saddened by how easy it is for me to avoid acknowledging Jesus. If Jesus is so important to me, and I am in love with Him, then why is it so hard to talk about Him. You would think that my love for God would exceed my desire to avoid the risk of making someone uncomfortable or being uncomfortable myself. If I am so in love with God, you would think that I would be seeking for opportunities to acknowledge Him before men. Especially because this is what He desires. 2 reasons, 1. it shows that we are proud of Him and 2. it allows other people to get to know Him more, that they may see my faith and want to have a faith like that.

Now I am not saying that I want to turn every conversation into a gospel presentation. I don't think that would be right. If someone wants to talk about it, I will talk. If they are not comfortable, I will not be as forward. The point is not to force people into choosing Christ. No, the point is showing them Christ and hoping that they will choose Him freely by God's good nature. I have found that most people are comfortable answering questions about what they believe and generally want to talk about what they believe. If I am interested in what they believe, it can be a comfortable conversation. Just by opening the door to what someone believes allows God to be working in their hearts.

The funny thing is I know this to be true, yet I still fear talking about Jesus. I hope I can search for opportunities to acknowledge Christ before men more frequently. I want to be bold for Christ and not fear man. I want my love for God and God's love for me to be more observable than my desire to be comfortable. I pray that I would not cover my candle under a basket. I tried to cover my candle with a basket and now the flame is burning the basket. I don't want to burn my hand!

One Love,
Danger

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Time goes fast, how to keep up with the changes?

It occured to me today that I don't keep in touch with nearly as many people as I did in college. One very obvious reason for this is that I am not in college anymore. I am now a working adult. Yikes! I am not ready for that step :( I know I own a house and have been working at my job for the past year and a few months, but being a working adult is a scaring thing to say. I think I will continue to title myself a college graduate. That sounds less scary and more versatile. I am a man of many opportunities after all.

I am also a man of many tangents. Anyway, I wish I were able to keep in touch with more people I was close to during college. When I see them now, I feel as though I have nothing to say. It is a sad thing to me. I wonder if this is part of growing up though. Not that being a grown up means having less relationships, but kindof. Being grown up means more responsibilities which means less time, which means less relationships. Sad but true, at least it is for me. Seems like just yesterday that I would go to Cru and meet about 5-10 new people, talk to old friends, and still have time to talk to the girl I had a crush on.

Maybe I just need to find my niche as an adult. In college I had a niche, why not find one as an adult. Thinking about it, I am not sure every adult would say the things I am saying because adults have niches too. Hmm...where can I find that. I think I will email that person from Woodland hills church about small groups. Maybe I can find a niche there. If you haven't noticed, I like the word niche. It is a fun word. I will let you know how that goes...

Friday, October 2, 2009

The Spark of Nature

I had a very peaceful and serene morning. I was in a very calm state for some reason as I was driving to work. I was listening to Shawn McDonald and enjoying my drive. I saw several geese fly overhead and I was just captured by the beauty of nature. This moment was excited by the song "Beautiful God" which encouraged me to be thinking about the beauty of God.

Oh boy did I experience it this morning. I was just blown away by the grace of the birds flying overhead that I saw God as this masterfully beautiful creator. I love these moments, when the business of my day is paused to admire the beauty so meticulously placed around us. It is moments like these that make me want to move out of the city and live in the country. Quit my job and just live off of the beautiful creation of our God. How nice would it be to not have to worry about money? That is one of the biggest concerns I am faced with each day. We need money to live and have the important things in life. I can not raise a family without money. I can not heat my home without money. I can not have a home without money. I can not even drive to church without money. Such a sad life we live. I can not wait until money is no longer a thought or a need. I am excited for the day where our currency is love and we are sustained by a loving God. What a beautiful place this will be. There shall be no one in want. No one in need. There will be no poverty, or famine, or disease. The concerns of this world will be no more and I can not wait for that day.

Until that day comes, I hope I can be wise with the resources God has placed before me. I have many opportunities to serve others daily, yet I do not view these opportunities as such. Rather I view them as a deterrent for the work "I need to do." "I have my business and I do not have time for someone else's business." I don't like this mindset that I have far too often. I pray God that you would remove this from me and place in my heart the mind of a servant like your Son Jesus Christ. Amen.

One Love,
Danger

Monday, September 21, 2009

"The one who is not against you is for you"

"John answered, 'Master, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he does not follow with us.' But Jesus said to him, 'Do not stop him, for the one who is not against you is for you.'"
-Luke 9:49-50

This is a rather interesting passage to me. There are so many questions that can be raised from this passage. I have a couple, but will really only address one. Why does John try to stop someone who is casting out demons? Isn't it obvious that casting out demons is a good thing and should be encouraged rather than discouraged? Why was John compelled to make sure that this person was casting out demons properly and for the right reasons and for the right person, namely Jesus. The interesting part is that this man was casting out demons in Jesus' name and yet John still questioned because this man did not follow with them. Initially when I read this, I thought that if I were in John's shoes I would not have tried to stop this man. I would have encoraged this person. Then I thought about it a little more and tried to find comparisons in my life to what John did. And believe it or not I found some.

Denominations. Do I really need to say more? Different churches within the same denominations that argue over practice or belief. People divided among doctrines. These are all similar to John. I even find myself being critical of someone who goes to a specific church or adheres to certain doctrines and I try to stop that person and "correct them." Now there is a place for reproof and addressing places of error, but there is also a place of comprimise for someone who follows Jesus and seeks after Him. I wish I could see the good in someone better than I do, the way Jesus does. This would cause so much less grief and struggle. My mind would be so much more clear if that "fog" were not in the way.

Then I thought a little bit more about Jesus' response, "For the one who is not against you is for you." How far does this go? If you have not had the joy of reading "The chronicles of Narnia" by C.S. Lewis, I suggest you go out and buy it right now and read all 7 books. They are fantastic. Anyway, in "The last battle" there is a Tarkaan who worshiped Tash faithfully his whole life and had been a good man by how he grew up. This Tarkaan ended up in Aslan's country and was forgiven by Aslan. Aslan told him that, "All service done unto Tash, has been done unto me."

This is a rather controversial topic and many questions are raised from this. I will not address all of these questions for there are far too many. Was he forgiven because he was unaware of Aslan and if given the chance he would have been faithful to Aslan? Was he forgiven because all good done is done unto God because that is the essence of God? I want to speculate on the second question.

What if someone who is not of the Christian faith does good? Is it counted as nothing? Does God look on this with disgust? Any good done is a good thing for it is in line with the Kingdom of God. I think God takes great joy when someone not of the Christian faith does good because of two reasons. The kingdom of God is being advanced and that person is beginning to align themselves with that Kingdom. I think all good done, is done unto God because doing good is in line with the kingdom of God. Is it possible for someone who has never heard the gospel to enter the kingdom of heaven? If this were not possible, then what of the people who have never heard the gospel? If they are condemned to hell automatically, then I would say God is unmerciful. Are they accountable for something that they do not understand?

This simply to raise questions in hopes to shake our faith in hopes that God would bring it to fullness. This argument is incomplete and I have much more to say on it, but do not think this blog is the place to do it. If you would like to talk about these issues, email me at blon0026@umn.edu or simply talk to me when you see me next :) Have a great day!

One Love,
Danger

Monday, September 14, 2009

He is moving

Lately I have been very unsettled in my current situation. I don't know what this is from or what it implies. All I know is that something is happening inside of me. It is the feeling you get when you know you have to do something different, but you don't neccessarily want to or don't know what you need to change yet. As the ocean currents stir the ocean, so God is moving in me to get me to move. I don't think it is a major thing, but I do know that whatever it is, it must be done. Times like this require my faith, that I may hear and then DO what the Spirit is asking me to do.

Possible reasons for my feeling this way: (BTW, I like lists (notice the colon))

1. I am working too hard and am not focusing my energy on Him
2. I seem to be disconnecting myself from people (see 1.)
3. I am not plugged into or involved in a church (see 2.)
4. I need to be a part of something bigger, to feel important or that I am contributing to something
5. I need a vacation :)

It could be all of these things, some of these, or none of these. All I know is that God has something up for me in the near future. The stirrings are from deep within, which is how I know it is of God. (Romans 8:26-27, 1 Corinthians 2:11-14) When I find out what is going on, I will inform you.

One Love,
Danger

Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Chase

I wrote this a while ago, but maybe you have never read it :)

The Chase

I used to walk free
Without a care in the world
Oblivious to all
Unaware of the circle I was walking

Around and around
In a 6 foot hole
There was safety in the walls
And I could not see that which wasn’t in close proximity to me

Until I saw my shadow
Most days he was my companion
But on this, he looked so different
Through him I could see me

Why are you so near me I cried
Away from me you wretched thing
And I ran and I hide
To avoid the ugliness of him

For fear of him
I climbed out of the hole and ran through the forest
The faster I ran
The faster he chased

Who is this wretch that haunts me so
I am a man despised and hated
Away from me shadow
I cannot look upon thee

The flee ensued
Until no more I could run
I fell with a thud
Only to see this wretch behind me

Turning from his darkness
I looked up to see
The Sun was shining on me
Oh so elegantly

It dawned on me
The Sun was always shining
Even in the comfort of my hole
He led me to where I fell

Because of the Sun I could see my shadow
The wretch who was really an outline of me
Oh how I hate him
Yet he is still with me

Yet he is only an outline
The shadow does not reveal what is inside
When I look beyond this shell
I see the Goodness of what was created

The border of the shadow is defined by the light
On the edge is where He says “No more shall you be”
“This is as far as you go Darkness”
Yet the Sun allows for the shadow as proof of His existence

Reflecting on this revelation
I looked around to see
A green pasture and quiet waters
It was really you leading me!

As far as I ran through the forest and the mire
And as keen on fleeing the shadow
The Sun led me in His direction
As I ran from my shadow I ran towards the Sun

Now I walk towards the light
Aware of the shadow, but more so the Sun
Through the valleys and over the mountains I walk
Higher and higher I rise towards the heavens where the Sun resides

Until one day I reach it
The center of the Sun
In this final resting place
The light engulfs me from all angles

In this place the darkness of the shadow is destroyed
It is only me and the Sun
In Him I shall rest
No longer followed by the darkness of my shadow

One Love,
Danger

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

How do you view the glass?

Today is 09/09/09! I suppose horoscopes are going crazy at this sort of thing. The fear and the magic of numbers. Oooohhhooo...scary. I was reading somewhere, I think it was on yahoo news, about this day. In the article, the writer mentioned that this is the last time an anomoly like this will happen until the year 2101. That is about 100 years from now. I think it is safe to say that most of us will never see this sort of date significance in our lives. For some reason, this made me sad. I felt like I was missing out on something and that I needed to see this next date anomoly or my life would not be complete. The moment was fleeting, but the feeling was still there. I realized how silly it was to feel bad that I would not be alive to see 01/01/01. As if that really means anything.

I ask the question why I felt this way? Why did I want to experience or participate in something that I could not experience or participate in? Why was I sad that I would never see 01/01/01? Maybe I was sad because this is the last time that I will see this bizare date. I think that is closer to the truth. It is the same mind set as someone who is aging and feels bad about it. They feel like they are losing something. That the way things are is the way things should be. This is not true. Things change. Our lives are not static. Our lives are maulable and they are being mauled. By those around us, by ourselves, and by God. Having the mind set that we are losing something when things change is a dangerous mindset. It is the same as viewing the glass half empty. Pessimism. It is a damaging thing. It can prevent forgiveness. It can cause depression. It can limit us and those around us. Those who view the glass as half empty, miss the opportunities that arise due to their changing circumstances. When things change around us, we have the opportunity to enter into something greater than where we are. Granted we need to be careful not to jump on every opportunity because they are not all good. Far from it. We should embrace change with hope and open arms.

Worst of all, those who dwell on the past, miss what is ahead of them. Living in a pessimistic state can obstruct our view of God. If we are focusing on what we are losing, we are not focusing on God and the opportunities which He is providing for our gain. This does not only affect us, it affects the growth of the Kingdom as well. We are supposed to be tools for the growth of the Kingdom and walking in the good works which God provides for us (Ephesians 2:10) I have heard the saying "we need to let go and let God." As cliche as that is, it does speak truth. If there are things that we are holding on to because we can not move on from the past, we need to let go of that and seek God's will. I hold on to things. I hold on to past decisions I have made. I need to seek God in the present state I am at. I can imagine that some day down the road I will fear getting older. When I get there, I need to let it go because I cannot change it and seek God's will in the present situation.

The glass is completely full! Half water and half air. Things are not always as they seem. We should not become so closed minded in our thinking that we do not see these surprises or rather allow for them. I am now speaking about our theology. God is way more than we can ever know. Why should we think that our theology is the true theology? Yes there are some things that are concrete and absolute, but the things that are not concrete or absolute should not be absolute in our minds. Perhaps what we think is absolute is not absolute. That is the danger and the advantage of a magnificent God. He is who we think He is, but He is also not who we think He is. Being open minded helps us with the later of this aspect of God. It prevents our faith from crumbling when we find out that we have missed part of the truth for so long. Being open minded allows for us to adapt to our changing state. Remember, we are not static. We are being mauled. It is not God who changes, rather our understanding of Him changes. If we seek Him, we will find more of Him. We may even find Him in places that we once thought He would never be. The glass if completely full! Live life to the fullest and seek God at every cost!

One Love,
Danger

Friday, September 4, 2009

The Calling of the 12

I am currently reading through the gospel of Luke, and studying Hebrews. As I was reading the sixth chapter of Luke, I noticed something that caught my attention. In my ESV bible Luke 6:12-16 has a heading that reads "The Twelve Apostles." The intersting part comes in verse 13. "And when day came, he called his disciples and chose from them twelve, whom he named apostles."

Two thoughts stem from this:
What was this like for the disciples?
How long had the disciples known Jesus before he called them?

1. I wonder if it was like at recess when everyone would line up, and the captains of the team would pick their players. No one wanted to be the last one picked. I wonder if the disciples were standing in line with their heads down afraid to make eye contact with their master out of fear that he would not pick them. I highly doubt it, but this funny picture came to my head when I first read this. I am sure he did it more personally than that. This passage does not allude to how he did it, this passage just says that he did do it. One would have to interpret the words "called" and "chose" to get a better understanding of how Jesus did this.

2. It seems that the disciples were with Jesus for some time before he "promoted" them to apostles. Another interesting thing is that Jesus had more than 12 disciples. I wonder how many he had. I know that later in Luke he sends out 72 to preach the kingdom of God. This causes me to think that Jesus had more disciples than these 72 even because he sends out the 72 later in his ministry. Then in John 6 many of Jesus' "disciples" leave after his teaching on the Bread of Life. It is hard to say how many disciples Jesus had because some of the gospels are chronological while others are building up to a certain conclusion. It would take a deeper study than I am giving here.

Anyway, I have always heard that Jesus came up to fisherman and asked them to follow him and they immediately follow without any questions asked. As if they just knew that Jesus was the Christ, maybe they did (John 1:41). I have always heard this and assumed that the fisherman had never met Jesus before. They just followed when a teacher would say follow because they were previously rejected and would be desperate to follow anyone who asked. While this may be along the lines of the truth, I believe it is blown a little out of proportion. Reading the gospels and comparing them leads me to believe that Jesus was teaching and preaching before he called his disciples (Matthew 4:12-17, Mark 4:14-15, Luke 4:14-44) They had a chance to evaluate His ministry and see that He was doing and saying great things. I would even speculate and say that they had met and maybe even talked with Jesus before he came to them when they were in their boat. I am not sure though.

I am not sure of my point on this, but it was an interesting speculation to me. I do believe that it took a while for the disciples to know who the Messiah really was, perhaps even after Jesus died did they finally understand. It is one thing to know that Jesus is the Messiah and another to know what that implies (they believed that the Messiah would stop the oppression of the Romans and become a prominent leader on earth, WRONG!) Maybe God doesn't expect us to follow blindly, but rather He wants us to trust and obey who He is and the more we know about who God is, the more responsibility we have to respond to this knowledge. I am pretty sure that is in the Bible somewhere :)

One Love

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Way behind new technology!

So I found myself reading a lot of blogs lately. I am not sure what sparked this, but I am ready to take the plung and start my own blog. I know that I am far behind new technology, but it is never too late. Most people are now tweeting, I am not ready for that serious of a committment :)

I am just trying this out to see what it looks like when I am done. More to come in the future.

One Love