Zeal for your house consumes me

During lunch at Chipotle today, I read John chapter 2 where Jesus turns over tables and clears out the temple. I read it quick and felt like I didn't get anything out of it. It bothered me that I only spent a couple minutes in the Bible, when I could have spent more. I felt like it was wasted, but then I dwelt upon the verse I did read a little more.

"Zeal for your house consumes me."

This scripture passage used by John from Psalm 69:9 kept running through my head. It made me think about what consumes me. I was a little saddened because I am not nearly as zealous for God as Jesus demonstrated in the temple. I seem to always revert back to a comfortable place where I have my job, my house, my girlfriend, my family, and my friends and I feel safe. Then I enter a dangerous place where these things are enough for me, where I do not want more from myself or for my life. I have my routine and I stick to it.

It seems as though Jesus didn't have this luxuary. I get the impression that Jesus held everything very loosely except His Father's will. Even His relationship with His mother is held loosely. When told about His mothers' arrival, Jesus said that those who do His Father's will are his brother, sister, and mother. This is a rather peculiar way to welcome one's mother. I imagine it is similar to when Jesus tells us to hate our parents for the sake of the gospel. We are not to hate our parents because that is one of the commandments, but rather it is a comparison. I don't think Jesus disrespects his mother, but compared to His Father's will his relationship with his mother means nothing.

I don't hold things loosely. I like to cling to them and find comfort in them. I should be doing that with God alone. It is good to have nice things and things of comfort, but like George Macdonald said, "It is good to have shoes, it is better to walk without them."

If I am perfectly honest, I don't feel as though I am being materialistic or unhealthy in my relationships with people. These things are as they should be in my opinion. Rather, my relationship with God is not as strong as it should be. God is not always on the pedastal. I like to take Him down and put other things up. I don't think I need to lessen the other things in my life, rather I need to increase the God in my life.

I may be walking a fine line of words here however. We are to take up our cross and follow Him daily. This means killing and hating the things that deter us from that goal. We are to kill our old self and things that hold us back from the Father's will. Like when Abraham began to covet his only son, who was a promise from God. God told Abraham to kill that son whom He had given to him with a promise. The goal was to loosen the grip Abraham had on this child. Abraham placed Isaac above God on his pedastal.

Maybe I do need to loosen the grip I have on the things in my life. Maybe only through this loosening can I hold on to Him tighter. Maybe once I let go of the other things and grap on tighter to God, the other relationships I have will become that much stronger. It is strange the way things work sometimes. I guess at the bottom of all of this is the desire to have the same zeal that Jesus did for His Father's will. I want to be able to lose everything and still praise God and live a joyful life. Joyful being the key word. If I lost everything I had right now, I would probably go into a depression or at least a resentful hatred of those around me. I need to be at the point in my relationship with God, that if everything is gone I have lost nothing. I have a lot of killing to do before I can get to that point, figuratively of coarse :)

What a blessed place that would be. I would not be controlled by the man, or by the powers of this dark world. I would not be phased by trials or hardships. I would not be motivated by money or power. I would live a life in harmony with those around me not caring what they cared or thought about me. It would all be out of love. I would not fear the unknown, but walk humbly with my God. I would not try so hard, but I would rely on the power of God. Oh, what a beautiful place this will be. Would God give me the strength and wisdom to get there.

One Love,
Danger