Thunder and Lightning heart check

So last night there was a crazy thunderstorm! The thunder and lightning were ferocious! There was one strike that woke me up and a crash so loud I thought I was going to die. I am not kidding. I literally though the lightning was going to hit a tree and it was going to fall on me in my sleep. I was pretty scared. I began praying in the middle of the night that God would protect me.

The interesting part though, was my emotions when I thought the end was near. Part of me was like, "ok God, I am coming home." The other part was, "No, please don't take me now. I am not ready to go." I was a little surprised by the second part of my emotions. I always thought that when death is near, I would take it like a soldier and embrace the next part of my journey. I think the big reason I was hesitant to be taken was Laura. I immediately thought about Laura and how I would miss her and how I want to spend my life with her. I didn't want to be shorted out of that experience.

This is kinda a heart check. Are my priorities straight? For the most part I would say yes. I think this view of death, take me now, please don't take me, is healthy as bi-polar as that sounds. We should be prepared for death at any point in time because it can happen at any point in time and eventually it will happen. But I don't know if we should want to die. I know there are greater things to come, but there are good things here. God gave us life and we should live it, but we should not cling to this life. I remember reading the Psalms and David spoke about how we should enjoy this life and something about grandchildren are a good thing, no reference :)

I remember when I first came to Christ. There were several occasions when I told my parents seriously "I would rather die." Or I would say, "it is better to die." Not in a suicidal way, but in a "To die is gain" way. I neglegted the first part of that verse in Galatians "To live is Christ." I did not realize that life is beautiful and that we should want to live on this earth. It is godly to desire to live a long life.

I have reconciled death. I am comfortable with it, and I know that heaven will be awesome. Seeing God will be the pinnacle of any experience we can fathom. But at the same time, I want to live a long life here on earth and see my children, grandchildren, and Lord willing my great-grandchildren grow.

What I am trying to say is we should not take anything for granted, life or death.

Live like you will die, but also like you will live.

The problem with live like today is your last, is that we tend to make really stupid long term decisions if there will be no consequences for those decisions.

So I say "Live like today is your last, but also your first." For we don't know what the next day has in store.


One Love,
Danger